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Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation

Warum Liebe weh tut: Eine soziologische Erklärung

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87,121 ratings · 2,797 reviews
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Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation

Warum Liebe weh tut: Eine soziologische Erklärung

4.85 87,121 ratings · 2,797 reviews
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Overview: Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience.Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love.The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire.This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.

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Pages 293
Published October, 2011
ISBN 13763042
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Eva Illouz
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Eva Illouz
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After spending years working in the corporate world, Eva Illouz finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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Michelle Garcia
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Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Cynthia Diaz October 05, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Elizabeth Wright
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Jacob King
Jacob King August 28, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Anthony Martin
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Kimberly Perez
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
David Young
David Young May 11, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
John Taylor
John Taylor September 07, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Daniel Walker
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Mary Lewis
Mary Lewis May 20, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sarah Thompson
Sarah Thompson April 23, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Lisa Rodriguez
Lisa Rodriguez March 31, 2024
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Kimberly Green
Kimberly Green February 17, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Thomas Nelson
Thomas Nelson June 08, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Sandra  Parker
Sandra Parker April 23, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Susan Campbell
Susan Campbell August 02, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Kimberly Green
Kimberly Green February 18, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Emily Walker
Emily Walker February 21, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Amanda  Davis
Amanda Davis November 27, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Nancy Ramirez
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Michael Reyes
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Elizabeth Scott
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Nancy Lopez
Nancy Lopez July 26, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Rebecca Williams
Rebecca Williams November 30, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Jennifer Green
Jennifer Green June 11, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Emily White
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Jessica Walker
Jessica Walker January 07, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Thomas Diaz
Thomas Diaz January 31, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Melissa Flores
Melissa Flores September 03, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Michael Johnson
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Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Elizabeth Scott
Elizabeth Scott April 09, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Dorothy Hill
Dorothy Hill June 23, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
James Johnson
James Johnson April 07, 2024
An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. A fair 3 stars.
Ryan Rivera
Ryan Rivera October 07, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sharon Jones
Sharon Jones September 07, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Dorothy Cruz
Dorothy Cruz August 10, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Andrew Wilson
Andrew Wilson October 04, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Deborah Baker
Deborah Baker February 03, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Sandra Nelson
Sandra Nelson November 16, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Stephanie Martinez
Stephanie Martinez September 20, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
George Garcia
George Garcia December 06, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Michelle Smith
Michelle Smith November 14, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Eric Williams
Eric Williams November 09, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Deborah Phillips
Deborah Phillips June 27, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Anthony Perez
Anthony Perez July 02, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Michelle Nguyen
Michelle Nguyen March 09, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donna Moore
Donna Moore September 14, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jessica  Parker
Jessica Parker July 27, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Rebecca Collins
Rebecca Collins May 23, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez October 16, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perfectly average.
Gary Nelson
Gary Nelson August 29, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sandra Lee
Sandra Lee May 21, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Stephanie Reyes
Stephanie Reyes September 21, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Michael Gonzalez
Michael Gonzalez July 16, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Kenneth Anderson
Kenneth Anderson May 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez July 25, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Mary Lewis
Mary Lewis August 24, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Emily Young
Emily Young January 12, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Donald Young
Donald Young October 28, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Ryan Hernandez
Ryan Hernandez June 30, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donald Young
Donald Young December 29, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
David Young
David Young September 20, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Cynthia Williams
Cynthia Williams March 12, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Amanda Hernandez
Amanda Hernandez July 16, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Kenneth Carter
Kenneth Carter April 02, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Michelle Garcia
Michelle Garcia October 27, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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