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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

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4.85
19,821 ratings · 9,859 reviews
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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

4.85 19,821 ratings · 9,859 reviews
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Overview: From the author of the novel, The Clasp, hailed by Michael Chabon, Heidi Julavits, and J. Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker

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Topics & Genres

Pages 230
Language Eng
Published April 1, 2008
ISBN 2195289
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Sloane Crosley
About the Author
Sloane Crosley
15,478 Followers

Sloane Crosley is the author of several novels. Originally from the East Coast, they now live in the Midwest with family. In addition to writing, Sloane Crosley enjoys gardening, cooking, and reading way past bedtime. Their work often explores the complexities of everyday life and human relationships.

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Robert Green
Robert Green June 04, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Donna Moore September 12, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Andrew Rivera
Andrew Rivera September 08, 2025
An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Charles Flores June 28, 2025
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Joshua King February 25, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
George Wright
George Wright December 28, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
George White
George White July 18, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Barbara Rivera
Barbara Rivera April 21, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Donna Nguyen
Donna Nguyen August 25, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Edward Campbell
Edward Campbell August 04, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perfectly average.
Jacob Clark
Jacob Clark September 01, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Eric Collins
Eric Collins July 31, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Edward Campbell
Edward Campbell May 28, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
John Johnson
John Johnson February 06, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua Lopez
Joshua Lopez March 13, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Christopher White
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George Gonzalez
George Gonzalez February 24, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Elizabeth Johnson
Elizabeth Johnson December 04, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joseph Baker
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Mark Gomez
Mark Gomez July 13, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jessica Evans
Jessica Evans June 24, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Daniel Scott
Daniel Scott April 05, 2025
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Mark Gomez
Mark Gomez January 21, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Carol Campbell
Carol Campbell April 07, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Paul Nguyen
Paul Nguyen March 08, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Mary Adams
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Sarah King
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Stephanie Young
Stephanie Young May 15, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Melissa Ramirez
Melissa Ramirez March 06, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Carol Phillips
Carol Phillips February 08, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Linda Robinson
Linda Robinson November 10, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Nicholas Walker July 12, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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John Roberts September 08, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Michelle Jones
Michelle Jones March 01, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Lisa Hall
Lisa Hall February 12, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Linda Baker
Linda Baker December 17, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Paul Jones December 18, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Betty Gonzalez
Betty Gonzalez March 28, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Rebecca Walker
Rebecca Walker April 01, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Thomas Wilson
Thomas Wilson September 18, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
David White
David White April 10, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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John Roberts March 14, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Dorothy Brown
Dorothy Brown July 09, 2024
It was adequate. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Margaret Carter
Margaret Carter February 15, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Robert Diaz
Robert Diaz September 26, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Susan Sanchez
Susan Sanchez October 21, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Michelle Clark
Michelle Clark December 09, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Anthony Reyes
Anthony Reyes June 10, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Patricia Evans
Patricia Evans July 20, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Ashley Robinson
Ashley Robinson June 06, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Anthony Wilson
Anthony Wilson October 22, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Paul Moore
Paul Moore March 10, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Rebecca Williams
Rebecca Williams April 25, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
William Edwards
William Edwards December 03, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Stephanie Evans
Stephanie Evans June 29, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Ashley Nguyen
Ashley Nguyen June 22, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Steven Miller
Steven Miller March 23, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donna Roberts
Donna Roberts June 06, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Charles Baker
Charles Baker August 09, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perfectly average.
Michael Williams
Michael Williams May 21, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Robert Wright
Robert Wright September 19, 2025
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Michelle Jones
Michelle Jones October 15, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
John Hall
John Hall October 22, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Lisa Wilson
Lisa Wilson November 21, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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