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Prince Charming Opens Doors, the Buffoon Opens Legs: The Seduction Manual that Women Don't Want You to Read

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Prince Charming Opens Doors, the Buffoon Opens Legs: The Seduction Manual that Women Don't Want You to Read

4.85 40,527 ratings · 3,583 reviews
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Overview: Prince Charming Opens Doors, the Buffoon Opens Legs is the medicine that your organism is demanding. For a long time you have tried to seduce women using flowers, chocolates, and clichéd pick-up lines with the hope of opening legs, but instead you’ve had to settle for opening the doors of restaurants, cars, and elevators. You’re a Prince Charming, and that is your problem, your karma, and your disease. But be calm. Don’t worry. There is now a cure: you have to transform into a Buffoon, by following the advice of a Bengal tiger. A Buffoon? Yes—the one who has his eyes wide open to the mating realities that Prince Charming refuses to see. He doesn’t look for love where there is only friendship. He realizes that paying for sex is cheaper than getting it free. He knows the hidden messages that his shoes send. He can distinguish the strategies used by women to win an argument without being right. He overcomes the feminine obsession with wanting to change men. He is an expert in one-night stands. He is confident that no Female human is out of his league. He is a Buffoon. A Bengal tiger? Yes—Lucano Divina, who leads the Animal Revolution. He escaped from the Acheron Zoo to fight against the imperialism of human stupidity, and is being hunted by humans to be turned into a rug, due to the inconvenient truths he reveals. He writes a very popular and very reviled blog from the jungles of Latin America. He is considered the sexiest living being on the face of the Earth. He will make you a Buffoon. Have you ever wondered what some guys did to become a woman magnet almost effortlessly? Now you know: you were in the company of Buffoons. Today you too can become one, if you accept the treatment that Lucano Divina offers you in this book. It won’t be easy: your organism will resist detoxification from your seduction preconceptions. You will be afraid to unlearn so you can learn, but in the end you will understand—you will understand women. That will be your advantage against your rivals. Never again will you say, “Nobody understands them,” because you will; and that will allow you to open countless legs.

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Published April 23, 2015
ISBN 25410674
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Lucano Divina
About the Author
Lucano Divina
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Lucano Divina is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Lucano Divina can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Daniel Adams
Daniel Adams May 05, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Gary  Parker
Gary Parker May 01, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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Margaret Evans June 15, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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George Phillips October 22, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Sharon Baker
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Michelle Johnson
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Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Elizabeth Roberts
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Dorothy Allen
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Sandra Green
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Karen Ramirez
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Linda Perez
Linda Perez November 09, 2024
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kimberly Adams
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Edward Scott
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Gary Allen
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Edward Scott
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Christopher Jones
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Kenneth Lewis
Kenneth Lewis June 30, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Emily Garcia
Emily Garcia April 25, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Paul Johnson
Paul Johnson February 28, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Daniel Sanchez
Daniel Sanchez June 14, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kenneth Allen
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Mark Ramirez
Mark Ramirez June 30, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Ashley Harris
Ashley Harris September 28, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Ryan Clark
Ryan Clark November 30, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Christopher Evans
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Eric Harris
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Emily Garcia
Emily Garcia January 20, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Daniel Garcia
Daniel Garcia October 23, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Brian Wright
Brian Wright December 09, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Ashley Harris
Ashley Harris October 31, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Donna Hall
Donna Hall June 03, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Joshua Young
Joshua Young June 22, 2024
It was adequate. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
George Ramirez
George Ramirez September 18, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Edward Edwards
Edward Edwards March 28, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Patricia Walker
Patricia Walker August 26, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Lisa Gonzalez
Lisa Gonzalez June 14, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Margaret Phillips
Margaret Phillips December 06, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jennifer Nelson
Jennifer Nelson August 09, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Barbara White
Barbara White November 05, 2025
A decent, if standard, experience. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Ashley Hill
Ashley Hill May 17, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sarah Perez
Sarah Perez March 09, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Deborah Allen
Deborah Allen April 22, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
David Taylor
David Taylor February 26, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Ryan Lopez
Ryan Lopez March 20, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Thomas Carter
Thomas Carter March 26, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
George Miller
George Miller April 07, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Paul Rivera
Paul Rivera March 15, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Richard Allen
Richard Allen January 30, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Matthew Thomas
Matthew Thomas April 29, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Karen Ramirez
Karen Ramirez July 26, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Michael Clark
Michael Clark January 31, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Barbara Nguyen
Barbara Nguyen May 01, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Donald Carter
Donald Carter November 02, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Carol Adams
Carol Adams February 10, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. A fair 3 stars.
Betty Turner
Betty Turner April 27, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Paul Cruz
Paul Cruz May 23, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Ryan Hall
Ryan Hall April 10, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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