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Markham and the Anal Probing (The Chronicles of St Mary's, #8.1)

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Markham and the Anal Probing (The Chronicles of St Mary's, #8.1)

4.85 45,432 ratings · 3,856 reviews
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Overview: Markham and the Anal ProbingAnd then there was the day when Markham managed to get himself snatched by aliens – or so we thought at the time.I was summoned to Dr Bairstow’s office to find Markham and Peterson already present. We looked at each other.‘Any clues?’ I asked.They shrugged.‘You can go in now,’ said Mrs Partridge, so in we went.He looked up from his desk. ‘There you are.’We agreed that yes, here we were.He gestured at his briefing table on which reposed several archive boxes and a fat folder.‘The County Archivist has been good enough to make available various documents requested by Dr Dowson. A condition was that we do not expose them to the hazards of a random delivery service.’ It was not clear whether it was the company or its delivery that was random, but we nodded anyway. ‘And so, I would like you, personally, to return these valuable documents with my compliments and thanks.’He handed Peterson an envelope.‘Of course, sir.’‘This afternoon, if you please.’Peterson glanced at his watch. ‘It’s already afternoon, sir.’‘How quickly you grasp my meaning.’‘I do my best, sir.’‘I have assured the County Archivist that my best people are on the job. They being unavailable, however, I have therefore designated my Chief Operations Officer, my Head of Security and my Deputy Director to fulfil this simple task.’His Deputy Directory, Head of Security and Chief Operations Officer assembled their best air of cool professionalism – which in our case consisted of standing a little straighter and not picking our noses. I don’t think he was impressed, staring at us bleakly for a few seconds and then demanding to know why we were still here.Since Peterson was burdened with the envelope, Markham and I seized the boxes and we left with all speed.‘Right,’ said Peterson, ‘I shall assume full control of this mission.’Markham made a rude noise.‘Get changed and meet in the car park in ten minutes. That’s ten minutes, Max. No wafting around in front of mirrors trying on dresses.’Now I made a rude noise.We met in the car park, shoving Markham and the boxes in the back, and departed.‘A nice afternoon out,’ said a voice from behind the boxes, and we agreed.Now I know what you’re thinking. I can hear exactly what you’re thinking, so I will say now that the boxes were delivered on time and to the correct destination. The County Archivist herself took delivery so God knows what was in them. Peterson, after a series of nudges from me, remembered to hand over Dr Bairstow’s letter of thanks and they gave us a cup of tea. They were lovely people. I wish I worked there. We set off for the return trip, hoping to be back in time for tea, and things started to go wrong almost immediately.Peterson caught my eye. I always think that sounds as if you’ve been indulging in a quick game of eyeball tossing, but I knew what he meant‘So,’ he said, almost casually, negotiating the last roundabout out of town and accelerating away, ‘how are things with you and Hunter?’‘OK,’ said Markham vaguely. ‘I think.’‘Don’t you know?’‘Well, it’s hard to tell sometimes, but I always think if she’s not coming at me with a kidney bowl then, you know, things aren’t too bad.’‘Why would she come at you with a kidney bowl?’‘Because she can’t find a bedpan.’Peterson tried again. ‘So – got any celebrations planned then?’‘What for?’‘Well, you have an anniversary coming up.’‘What anniversary?’‘Wedding. You know. You and Hunter.’There was a long silence from the back. ‘Don’t know what you mean.’‘I worked it out,’ said Peterson in his best I’m Peterson and I’m brilliant voice. ‘I’m looking at Hunter these days and she’s looking very well, isn’t she? Blooming, almost. And she’s a very moral girl is our Hunter. Well, she has to be since you don’t have a single moral to your name, so I reckon you had the ceremony just before or just after the Battle of St Mary’s which means there’s an anniversary coming up.’There was a lot more silence from the back.‘Oh come on,’ said Peterson. ‘Admit I’m right and the then the two of us can buy you a celebratory drink in the bar.’More silence.‘I’m right, aren’t I? Go on – say I’m right.’Even more silence.‘I don’t know why you won’t admit it,’ he said, slightly exasperated. ‘Are you ashamed of something? Wait until I tell Hunter you’re ashamed of her.’He paused, hopefully.Nothing but silence.I pulled down the passenger’s sun flap and looked at the mirror. Markham was sitting with his arms folded and a stupid grin on his face.‘I reckon,’ said Peterson, ‘the two of you snuck into the Register Office without telling anyone but I’m going to make you tell me just the same.’Silence.‘Right,’ he said. ‘You asked for it. Hold on tight, Max.’We swerved off the road into a field, skidding to a halt in a shower of dust, stones and indignant birds.‘What are we doing here?’ said Markham, picking himself up off the back seat and peering out ...

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Book details & editions

ISBN
35176846
Publisher
Jodi Taylor
Publication date
May 20, 2017
Language
Eng
Pages
10 pages
Reading Options
PDF · EPUB · Mobi
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Jodi Taylor
About the Author
Jodi Taylor
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Jodi Taylor is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Jodi Taylor can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Deborah Young
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Donna Edwards
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I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Matthew Moore
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Steven Martin
Steven Martin August 12, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Rebecca Flores
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A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jessica Rivera
Jessica Rivera September 09, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Ashley Mitchell
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Rebecca Ramirez
Rebecca Ramirez May 17, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Rebecca Green
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Thomas Nguyen
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
David Ramirez
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
William Sanchez
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Donald Harris
Donald Harris September 21, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Cynthia Mitchell
Cynthia Mitchell April 07, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Sharon White
Sharon White October 28, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Mark Thompson
Mark Thompson December 08, 2024
A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Thomas Nguyen
Thomas Nguyen October 01, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Christopher Nguyen
Christopher Nguyen March 10, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Elizabeth Taylor October 23, 2024
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Jennifer Roberts
Jennifer Roberts September 11, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Thomas White
Thomas White December 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Karen King
Karen King February 02, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Patricia King
Patricia King March 01, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Patricia Evans
Patricia Evans December 20, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
William Harris
William Harris August 23, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
John Baker
John Baker January 19, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Joseph Garcia
Joseph Garcia December 12, 2025
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Joseph Garcia
Joseph Garcia October 19, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
John Smith
John Smith August 05, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Rebecca Diaz
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jessica Martin
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A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Barbara White
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Emily Wilson
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Ashley King
Ashley King June 19, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Kevin Campbell
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Betty Moore
Betty Moore May 09, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Mark Thompson
Mark Thompson May 05, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donald Harris
Donald Harris April 03, 2025
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Patricia Cruz
Patricia Cruz June 09, 2024
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perfectly average.
Christopher Thomas
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A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
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Linda Mitchell June 02, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Emily Phillips
Emily Phillips January 23, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Amanda Jones
Amanda Jones February 23, 2025
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Margaret Mitchell
Margaret Mitchell December 18, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kenneth Evans
Kenneth Evans January 30, 2025
An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Kenneth Brown
Kenneth Brown March 09, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Elizabeth Jackson
Elizabeth Jackson April 12, 2024
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Nancy Jackson
Nancy Jackson October 24, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
William Smith
William Smith November 26, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Deborah Allen
Deborah Allen January 12, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Steven Garcia
Steven Garcia August 20, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Joseph Clark
Joseph Clark September 30, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Michael Sanchez
Michael Sanchez September 28, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jennifer King
Jennifer King September 12, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Karen Thomas
Karen Thomas May 28, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Andrew  Davis
Andrew Davis September 13, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Donald Nguyen
Donald Nguyen October 22, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Karen Harris
Karen Harris October 27, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
John Taylor
John Taylor October 14, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Sharon Young
Sharon Young May 06, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Kenneth Moore
Kenneth Moore April 30, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Betty Scott
Betty Scott October 08, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
William Gonzalez
William Gonzalez February 08, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
William Flores
William Flores July 15, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Joshua Lewis
Joshua Lewis February 08, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Jennifer Nguyen
Jennifer Nguyen December 30, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
William Hernandez
William Hernandez December 05, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Ryan Wilson
Ryan Wilson February 28, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Amanda Jones
Amanda Jones May 04, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Joseph Garcia
Joseph Garcia February 16, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Margaret King
Margaret King June 18, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Kevin Rodriguez
Kevin Rodriguez January 17, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
John Phillips
John Phillips May 15, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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