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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

4.85 39,689 ratings · 5,612 reviews
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Overview: From Tom Segura, the massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more. Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.  In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.  I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.  

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Topics & Genres

Pages 229
Language Eng
Published 2022
ISBN 57007950
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Tom Segura
About the Author
Tom Segura
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Tom Segura writes contemporary fiction and has always been fascinated by character-driven stories. They hold a degree in English Literature and previously worked as an editor before transitioning to writing their own books. Tom Segura lives with their spouse and a very vocal rescue cat.

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Susan Evans
Susan Evans March 13, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Rebecca Smith June 07, 2025
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
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Andrew Ramirez
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Andrew White
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I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Betty Rivera
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Edward Phillips
Edward Phillips April 21, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Melissa Jackson
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Dorothy Gomez
Dorothy Gomez April 09, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Deborah Perez
Deborah Perez April 01, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Barbara Rivera
Barbara Rivera September 30, 2024
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Ashley Green
Ashley Green August 09, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Mary King
Mary King January 25, 2025
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Nicholas  Davis
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell September 02, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Cynthia Sanchez
Cynthia Sanchez November 08, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Sarah Smith
Sarah Smith July 08, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Deborah Lewis
Deborah Lewis November 17, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Mary Thomas
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Amanda Garcia
Amanda Garcia October 08, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Brian Sanchez
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A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Cynthia Turner
Cynthia Turner September 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Edward Perez
Edward Perez April 29, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Betty Collins
Betty Collins March 12, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Christopher Thomas
Christopher Thomas May 04, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Kevin Reyes
Kevin Reyes February 17, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Edward Perez
Edward Perez November 11, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Melissa  Parker
Melissa Parker August 17, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Edward Adams
Edward Adams October 30, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Lisa Cruz
Lisa Cruz May 07, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Lisa Miller
Lisa Miller April 07, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
William Anderson
William Anderson June 14, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Sharon Brown
Sharon Brown May 02, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Steven Flores
Steven Flores July 04, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Thomas Robinson
Thomas Robinson March 28, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Karen Lee
Karen Lee September 03, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perfectly average.
Steven Brown
Steven Brown February 03, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Robert Hall
Robert Hall January 04, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
Robert Allen
Robert Allen August 23, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Donna White
Donna White July 27, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Ashley Thomas
Ashley Thomas July 15, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jessica Johnson
Jessica Johnson March 10, 2024
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Christopher Campbell
Christopher Campbell December 28, 2025
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Ashley Thomas
Ashley Thomas July 08, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
Rebecca Williams
Rebecca Williams March 13, 2025
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Daniel Scott
Daniel Scott October 24, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Laura Thomas
Laura Thomas November 05, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
George Rivera
George Rivera August 29, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Deborah Lewis
Deborah Lewis December 23, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Eric Young
Eric Young June 26, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Joshua Thomas
Joshua Thomas December 14, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Cynthia Lewis
Cynthia Lewis April 30, 2024
A very strong entry. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Kimberly Green
Kimberly Green January 09, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Karen Gomez
Karen Gomez September 28, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Cynthia Jackson
Cynthia Jackson November 22, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Donald Rivera
Donald Rivera December 11, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Betty Rivera
Betty Rivera January 22, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joshua Hall
Joshua Hall June 17, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Emily Hernandez
Emily Hernandez August 07, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Deborah Garcia
Deborah Garcia March 16, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Dorothy Rivera
Dorothy Rivera June 12, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Joshua Garcia
Joshua Garcia December 18, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
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